Ding Ding

Some days just have a way of kicking you while you're down. Today hasn't been over the top hard or anything but just a lot of little things that knock me down and I keep getting back up until that last one. The last hit. And it doesn't even have to be a big hit, it can be a simple shove back to the ground as you are getting up. But by this time you are just so tired you just lay down and have a cry.
I woke up this morning to a unusually defiant four year old. And the defiance has only continued, along with whining, arguing, complaining, and thinking he is the boss. Plus the needs of my nine month old. Plus the needs of my house. Plus the needs of people at work. Plus my own needs which always fall in last place. So needless to say by now I'm just mentally exhausted and my day isn't over. But as I'm taking a break in the solitude of my bedroom I get on Facebook. I have no idea why I do this because Facebook always makes me feel upset, inadequate, or stupid. Rarely do I get on and see something that brightens my day. Anyway, I run across something. Something I wish I could have been included on. It's something that I couldn't have participated in any way because I am a mother and a wife and because of my job situation money is very tight. But it's something that in the past I would have no doubt been asked to participate in, but now, not so much. Because I am a mother and a wife. And apparently that is all. I admit I have let many (way more then I would like) friendships slip away. I wish so badly I had the time to keep up on all my friendships that were so dear to me, that still are very dear to me. But I can't. I have two little humans that need and take everything I am. But I am still a person. Strip away my kids for a minute (imagine they are off to college or summer camp). Without them I am still me. I still have feelings same as before I had kids, if not more. My point in all this is: it's still nice to be asked. Even if you know I can't go it's still really nice to be asked, to be thought of as just Lisa. I understand that that would be so frustrating to continue to ask someone to do something and they never do, I'd probably quit asking too. But I can guarantee that that mom you keep asking is smiling because she isn't forgotten.
Most days this little thing wouldn't phase me but after a day like today, after the daily grind of staying at home, it put me on the ground. But....I'm getting up. The little things put you to the ground but they also help you get back up. My four year old hasn't needed anything for 45 minutes, which is amazing. My baby gave me that four toothed grin I love so much. And I will see my husband soon. All these things are far greater in goodness then all those little things are great in badness. (If that even makes sense).